Archive for the ‘movies’ Category

RadioRaheem’s Story

August 7th, 2008 1 comment

Let me tell you the story of “Right Hand, Left Hand.” It’s a tale of good and evil. Hate: It was with this hand that Cane iced his brother. Love: These five fingers, they go straight to the soul of man. The right hand: the hand of love. The story of life is this: Static. One hand is always fighting the other hand; and the left hand is kicking much ass. I mean, it looks like the right hand, Love, is finished. But, hold on, stop the presses, the right hand is coming back. Yeah, he got the left hand on the ropes, now, that’s right. Ooh, it’s the devastating right and Hate is hurt, he’s down. Left-Hand Hate K.O.ed by Love.

– RadioRaheem, from Spike Lee’s Do The Right Thing

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Watchmen Movie Character Stills

March 6th, 2008 No comments

Watchmen is one of my all time favorite comic series. I’ve purchased the complete edition no less than three times because I keep loaning it out and it never returns.

We’re officially one year away from the release of the movie, and director Zack Snyder (who also did 300 and the recent Dawn of the Dead remake) has released high quality stills of some of the most important characters from the story.

Now, before you go clicking that link it’s important you understand these characters. Don’t go looking if you haven’t already read the material because you’ll just think they look like cheesy superhero archetypes. In fact, that’s the point. Watchmen is the story of heroes who existed in a quasi “golden age” of superheroes that are now older and must deal with a whole new set of problems while at the same time question who they are and why they do what they do. Meanwhile the rest of the world is an alternate 1985 in which the U.S. is a hair’s width away from full blown war with the Soviet Union. The story (and hopefully the movie) aren’t anything like most other typical comic book setups, and that’s what makes Watchmen so great.

Basically what I’m trying to say here is don’t expect another X-Men style movie!

Categories: comics, movies Tags:

The Dark Knight – Trailer

December 16th, 2007 No comments

Finally! I’ve avoided watching the crappy youtube versions for a few days now waiting for an official version of the trailer for the next Batman movie, The Dark Knight.

High definition downloads available.

The Dark Knight – Trailer download/view link

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Thundercats For Reals Ho! Update: Awwwww

June 6th, 2007 No comments has news today that Thundercats will undergo the recently popular remake/restart live action movie update.

Yes, they’re right, it was mostly used to sell toys. I didn’t have many of them but it was still one of my fav’s back in the cereal-at-5-am-still-in-pj’s-saturday-morning days.

Update: Warner Bros has clarified a few things on the Thundercats movie, and of course it will NOT be live action.

Which unfortunately increases the crapola factor quite a bit.

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The Tourist reviews….

October 26th, 2006 2 comments


This charming, quaint little drama is about two young 7th graders in Japan, who despite all the obstacles, defy the odds and fall in love. And when I say obstacles, I mean their entire 7th grade class is kidnapped by the government and forced to fight each other to the death on a secluded Pacific Island!

This little gem runs a little long at about 2 hours on the dot, but oh is it WORTH IT! The premise, in the near future, the youth of Japan have gotten unbelievably out of control. Desperate to regain order, the Japanese government implements a plan where a class of 7th graders (about 43 total) are kidnapped, and forced to fight each other to the death on a remote island. After 3 days, if there is more than one person left alive, everybody dies.

This rock and roll epic of teenage violence and social commentary can be a little campy at times, but if you’re looking for a couple of hours of uncomfortably violent cinema, then this is it. The acting is suprisingly good, the budget is HUGE, and the plot, (while totally unbelievable) is good enough to carry the real draw, action action and more action.

Loved it! I wont give away anything major, but there something deeply satisfying about watching a clique of snotty girls rip each other apart in a lighthouse.

The tourist gives it…..

7 out of 10!

-The Tourist

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The Tourist reviews….

September 25th, 2006 2 comments


Starring no name actors! With a director you havent heard of!

Now, I’m what you would like to call a “zombie connoseuir”. I’ve seen’em all. ALL. Even a lot of late sixties – seventies Italian zombie movies. I was, “that guy” that forced his friends to sit through such classics as “Dawn of the Dead” and “Dead Alive” way back when.

Severed is about *sigh* an experiment with genetically engineered trees that goes wrong. Now, I’m not going to throw this movie under the bus for that alone. But lets take a look at some better causes for zombie epidemics:

1. Night of the Living Dead- Radiation from a comet! Eeery!

2. 28 Days Later…- Man made virus! Political!

3. Dead Alive- Bite from a half rat/half monkey! Funny!

4. Zombie- Voodoo experiements in the caribbean! Michale Bay-ish!

Its an independent film, so for that reason I will excuse a lot of things. Mediocre acting, so-so special effects, and location are all forgiven. Truth be told, most of that isnt too bad in this one. But its soooo predictable. Hero wanders in unaware. Almost bites it. Gets saved. Gets told. Friends die. Hooks up with camp of neonazi white people. Apparently which is worse than zombies. Heros leave. Zombies get in. Everybody dies.

Although the gayness factor is minimal compared to Land of the Dead, this movie still aint cutting the head off the shoulders, if you know what I mean.


Meh. So so. Ok, sortof. If you have nothing else to watch and are desperate enough, and you can find it, go for it. But if you come crying to me about wanting your two hours back, dont. You were warned….

The Tourist

Categories: movies, the tourist Tags:

More than meets the eye….

August 30th, 2006 2 comments

Transformers, More than Meets the Eye

“This will not end well.”
-Banky Edwards, Chasing Amy

Well put, my comic loving friend! This will not end well indeed.

hello geeks. I’m very concerned about next summers live action film, “Transformers The Movie”. Now I love transformers just as much as the next guy, hell, I’ve seen the animated version like, 15 times. And I’d be lying if I said I didnt well up a little every time Optimus bought the farm after
the siege of autobot city. (of course, I cry every time I watch Beaches too. Back to my rant…)

But its MICHAEL BAY. And god help me I am not making this up, this is the guy who got his start shooting music videos for such 80’s powerhouses as Lionel Ritchie, Donnie Osmond, and Wilson Fucking Phillips. And guess who’s helping with the script? One of the guys who wrote…[cold shudder], Catwoman.


Thinking about this movie gave me this oddly familiar, albeight weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. Remember those talent shows back in school? The feeling I get thinking about this movie is the feeling I got at one of those shows. This movie is like your really clueless awkward friend. He’s going on stage, in front of the whole school. And you’ve known this guy for like FOREVER. You love the guy, but you know he’s going to humiliate himself in front of everyone. He’s doing a puppet show with his stuffed animals in really high voices, that makes everyone cringe, or something.

And you just KNOW he’s gonna suck. Really, really bad.

But he’s your friend, and you want to root for him. But you’re dreading the upcoming performance, and that wise* voice in the back of your head warns you….

The whole school will laugh. His bit will blow. And as impossible as it may seem Tyler, you will be even less cool for being his friend…”

Sigh, the voices in my head are almost** always right…..

Next summer rolls around, and we geeks will hear normal people talking:

Attractive Girl– “Hey, did you hear MICHAEL BAY is doing another movie! I loved Armageddon! And Pearl Harbor was sooo good….”
{you vomit, and then die a little bit inside}

Prick“Yeah, its about some GAY toy from the 80’s or something.”
{your world turns blood red for a second, then you calm down….}

You-Well, it might be ok. The animated one was pretty good and-“

Prick“What, dont tell me you’ve got those DOLLS and shit in your room TOO?!?!”

You“They’re not DOLLS, they’re collectible action-“

Prick“Dude, throw away your dolls and move out of moms basement.”

You“First, they’re not dolls. Second, I’m just saving up some money till-“

But its useless.

The discussion has long been over. The prick takes the hottie to Fast and the furious four, gets a BJ in the theatre, meanwhile you are desperately trying to get your friends to stop LARPing and see the movie that they have already read the script to, and re-enacted with their dolls….er,
“collectible action figures”.

You were right Banky…it didnt end well. *sigh*

-the tourist

*not always wise, remember that drinking game the voice came up with? “Tequila Torpedo”? Sigh…so many needless deaths…

**not always right, remember that bet with the redneck and that cat you shaved?

Categories: movies, rants, the tourist Tags:

Random After Work Observation

August 10th, 2006 No comments

I usually watch a movie after work. It helps me wind down so I can go to sleep at a decent hour.

Anyway, the observation is this: The last two hours of Star Wars Episode III Revenge of the Sith rock. The only scenes I skip occur in the first hour.

Categories: movies, quickies Tags:

Transformers Movie On Location Pictures

May 31st, 2006 No comments

Transformers The Movie Images | Transformers Movie On Location Set Images

Check out the link above for some pictures taken (supposedly) from the set of the upcoming live action Transformers movie.

Considering they are taking some of the most elaborate security precautions in the history of movie making I wouldn’t be shocked if these are a bit of disinformation, but they are still great eye candy.

How crazy awesome is that tank? Megatron maybe?

Update: According to various sites that tank is Devastator.

Update 2: Apparently the pictures are gone now. ;o(

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