Archive for the ‘rants’ Category

Oh Please

February 16th, 2007 1 comment

According to this story in the LSJ a local businessman and former parade chairman wants to change the name of Michigan Avenue to “The Avenue of Michigan.”

My thoughts:

1. Come on. This is exactly the kind of fluff that is supposed to make people feel better about having a terrible state economy but doesn’t actually accomplish anything.

2. If you’re going to bother to change the name wouldn’t you want to use something… different? If you rename it “The Avenue of Michigan” I’d be willing to bet that 95% of the local population will keep referring to it as Michigan Avenue because it’s easier and makes more sense.

3. The main reason for this idea according to the article is he “wants to put a spotlight on one of Lansing’s busiest streets.” I guess having Lansing’s only family museum, two theatres, the civic center, and oh yeah the CAPITOL BUILDING directly at the end of the view isn’t enough of a spotlight.

I can’t decide if this is just an ultimately fruitless idea or another example of the LSJ really reaching for news topics.

Categories: news, rants Tags:

Bitter Words

February 14th, 2007 2 comments

Once upon a time there was a young gadget “blog” (I use the term lightly here because it was barely known at the time) called Gizmodo. It’s primary source of fuel was something my friend once told me was an excellent sure-fire present when shopping for me: Stuff that has a screen and beeps.

Gizmodo had quick witty posts summarizing the latest gadget for this or that and was inevitably accompanied by the best (again, at the time) pictures of the products you could find. Screenshots galore. You get the idea.

Sadly, things took a turn for the worse somewhere along the line. A few terrible site layout changes (mind you I’m no angel) and a few leadership changes letter I for one think that Gizmodo is a shadow of its former self. Just now I had to check Newsfire to see if I still monitored their RSS feed. I don’t.

Don’t get me wrong here. I still visit the site occasionally, but at some point I just lost the desire to let their newsfeed take up more time. There’s arguably too many as it is right now. It’s nothing personal. I’d just rather read the exact same news from another source. It’s not uncommon to get four, five, even a dozen for the really crazy stuff. Anna Nicole Smith’s death created at least a dozen or more and that’s not counting all the afterward stuff that’s still going on. Note to self: Take CNN out of my main news feeds.

So this reason I’m on this little tangent is today’s post from former Gizmodo editor Joel Johnson on their site. Apparently he has completely had it with the gadget/tech/web/etc world and isn’t afraid to let the world know.

Speaking as a former marketing department member and as someone who still talks to people about how they’re “the next YouTube/Myspace/Insert-popular-web-site-here” I say:

Amen brother.

Just read it. It’s hilarious. He goes off on the Gizmodo staff. He goes off on the entire market. He goes off on us. Everyone. No one is immune.

It is absolutely the most honest declaration of common sense I have read in years in these newsfeeds.

God willing it will continue.

Thanks to Lifehacker for the original link.

Categories: funny, rants, wisdom Tags:


January 2nd, 2007 2 comments

Good. God.

If there is anything I learned from New Years Eve, its that “blue-balling” a guy should be a god damn felony.

Read more…

Categories: rants, the tourist Tags:

OS Snob

December 24th, 2006 No comments

I’m really trying not to be an OS snob here. I’m really trying.
Read more…

Categories: mac, rants, windows Tags:

The tourist states….

December 5th, 2006 1 comment

I trust frat boys with girls in their house about as much as I trust a dog with food on the ground.

Categories: rants, wisdom Tags:

Chain letters dont make me angry, they make me stabby…..

September 10th, 2006 No comments

Oh, how I HATE chain letters…and the people that send them. Here are a few reasons why:

1. You will not save the life of some 6 year old addled with brain cancer by simply “forwarding a message”. If a six year old has brain cancer, God wants him to die. Dont mess with God’s plan. He will FUCK YOU UP.

2. The Make-a-wish Foundation doesnt use chain emails to get donations. People smarter than you use chain letters to entertain themselves. Dont be a retard.

3. I swear to CHRIST, if I get one more fucking email about a little kid and angels, I’m going
to burn down a church. A story about a little kid walking into a pharmacist looking to “buy
a meewacle” with money from her piggy bank for her terminally ill brother makes me angry. I
dont watch the family channel for a reason. I dont want this bullshit showing up in my inbox.

4. People dont use emails to find missing kids. They use the police and television.
And if you think forwarding an email about a kid who’s been missing for two weeks on the
other side of the country is going to help, you’re dumb. And wrong. But mostly dumb.

5. I WILL NOT, repeat will NOT, join your stupid fucking cause because of an email.
I will not save the baby seals, those fur coats they make out of them look too nice.
I will NOT try to stop horses from being killed for food. They’re an animal just like pigs or cows.
I will NOT change my political beliefs which took me 25 years to formulate because I got a
fucking email from a moron.

-the tourist

Categories: life, rants, the tourist Tags:

Why I Hate Windows Servers

September 5th, 2006 1 comment

I could go on for pages and pages about why I hate Windows servers, but I realized today that there is one reason that trumps them all:

Every time I pick up a customer issue involving a Windows server that I don’t know how to fix, thinking I’ll learn something and be better off for having done so, it comes back to bite me in the ass and I end up ready to pull my hair out by the time it’s over. No matter how simple an issue it should be, that is always the end result.

So yeah, Windows servers suck.

Big time.

That is all.

Categories: hosting, rants Tags:

More than meets the eye….

August 30th, 2006 2 comments

Transformers, More than Meets the Eye

“This will not end well.”
-Banky Edwards, Chasing Amy

Well put, my comic loving friend! This will not end well indeed.

hello geeks. I’m very concerned about next summers live action film, “Transformers The Movie”. Now I love transformers just as much as the next guy, hell, I’ve seen the animated version like, 15 times. And I’d be lying if I said I didnt well up a little every time Optimus bought the farm after
the siege of autobot city. (of course, I cry every time I watch Beaches too. Back to my rant…)

But its MICHAEL BAY. And god help me I am not making this up, this is the guy who got his start shooting music videos for such 80’s powerhouses as Lionel Ritchie, Donnie Osmond, and Wilson Fucking Phillips. And guess who’s helping with the script? One of the guys who wrote…[cold shudder], Catwoman.


Thinking about this movie gave me this oddly familiar, albeight weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. Remember those talent shows back in school? The feeling I get thinking about this movie is the feeling I got at one of those shows. This movie is like your really clueless awkward friend. He’s going on stage, in front of the whole school. And you’ve known this guy for like FOREVER. You love the guy, but you know he’s going to humiliate himself in front of everyone. He’s doing a puppet show with his stuffed animals in really high voices, that makes everyone cringe, or something.

And you just KNOW he’s gonna suck. Really, really bad.

But he’s your friend, and you want to root for him. But you’re dreading the upcoming performance, and that wise* voice in the back of your head warns you….

The whole school will laugh. His bit will blow. And as impossible as it may seem Tyler, you will be even less cool for being his friend…”

Sigh, the voices in my head are almost** always right…..

Next summer rolls around, and we geeks will hear normal people talking:

Attractive Girl– “Hey, did you hear MICHAEL BAY is doing another movie! I loved Armageddon! And Pearl Harbor was sooo good….”
{you vomit, and then die a little bit inside}

Prick“Yeah, its about some GAY toy from the 80’s or something.”
{your world turns blood red for a second, then you calm down….}

You-Well, it might be ok. The animated one was pretty good and-“

Prick“What, dont tell me you’ve got those DOLLS and shit in your room TOO?!?!”

You“They’re not DOLLS, they’re collectible action-“

Prick“Dude, throw away your dolls and move out of moms basement.”

You“First, they’re not dolls. Second, I’m just saving up some money till-“

But its useless.

The discussion has long been over. The prick takes the hottie to Fast and the furious four, gets a BJ in the theatre, meanwhile you are desperately trying to get your friends to stop LARPing and see the movie that they have already read the script to, and re-enacted with their dolls….er,
“collectible action figures”.

You were right Banky…it didnt end well. *sigh*

-the tourist

*not always wise, remember that drinking game the voice came up with? “Tequila Torpedo”? Sigh…so many needless deaths…

**not always right, remember that bet with the redneck and that cat you shaved?

Categories: movies, rants, the tourist Tags: