Archive for the ‘the tourist’ Category

I’ve got a van, I’ve got some candy. Get in and lets take a ride!

August 16th, 2006 1 comment

Hey nerds!

My name is Tyler. I’m an alcoholic, chain smoking capricorn that just wants to be loved.

I figured I’d introduce myself, seeing as how you may come across some of my work in the near future. The asshole that runs this site happens to be a very near and very dear person that I used to borrow money from. We met shortly after we both learned how to poop in toliets. (We’ve known each other a while)

He mentioned that I could use his website to post some stuff I wanted to write about. I fully plan on making him regret this decision as much as possible.

But before I start in on my substance abuse problems, fascination with dolls, weird rashes, or anything else that gets me kicked out of the public library for talking about, I thought I’d share a few things about myself.

1. No one will give me car insurance.

2. I once failed a class in college because I didnt take the test because I had shit my pants on the way there. TRUE STORY. Really.

3. I like unicorns.

4. Best animated movie ever? Transformers. AND SO HELP ME GOD IF BAY FUCKS IT UP, he’s a dead man.

Thats it for now. later!

Categories: the tourist, welcome Tags: